“Because if this is gonna be a Christian nation that DOESN’T help the poor, either we’ve got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition — and then admit that we just don’t want to do it.”—Stephen Colbert (via technipol)
"Your car is Japanese. Your pizza is Italian. Your potato is German. Your wine is Chilean. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your tea is Tamil. Your watch is Swiss. Your fashion is French. Your shirt is Indian. Your shoes are Thai. Your electronics are chinese. Your vodka is Russian... and you complain that your neighbor is an immigrant? Pull yourself together!"
What's the point in saying "No homo"? No one's going to think you're gay if you tell your friend you love them. I don't go to my little sister and say "I love you. No incest". If I'm at my Grandfather's grave, I don't go "I love you. No Necrophilia."